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Economic Models explained with Cows- 2007 update

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Nigel Ward, 1st May, 2007.

  1. Nigel Ward

    Nigel Ward Team InvestEd

    Joined:
    10th Jun, 2005
    Posts:
    1,172
    Economic Models explained with Cows- 2007 update

    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
    milk away...

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
    credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
    debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
    four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
    Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
    sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
    one more.
    You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
    youwith nine cows.
    No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    THE ANDERSEN MODEL
    You have two cows.
    You shred them.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
    three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
    produce twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market
    it worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
    milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
    You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
    country.
    You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
     
  2. Tropo

    Tropo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    17th Aug, 2005
    Posts:
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    NSW
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