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In need of help (inherited house)

Discussion in 'Finance & Banking' started by inneedofhelp, 27th Sep, 2008.

  1. inneedofhelp

    inneedofhelp New Member

    Joined:
    27th Sep, 2008
    Posts:
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    Location:
    Melbourne, VIC
    I'm not sure what forum this is applicable for but I am need of financial advice, along with social advice.

    I'm currently 20 yrs old and I inherited a house off my grandfather when I was about 10 yrs old, I believe. I know nothing about banking, real estate or anything, I also suck at english(even tho I'm one year into my commerce degree) so bare with my terminology. Throughout the past 10 yrs my mum has been managing everything to do with my house and rent money. Over the past yrs I have asked for a few things of value which I told my mum she can take out of my account (probably around 2k all up). Anyway when I turned 18, I asked her for the first time how much money I had in my account, considering I had been earning rent for the past 10 yrs I was expecting a lot. Anyway she had the nerve to tell me 2k, showing me a bank statement with my name on it, on further inspection of the bank statement it appears the majority of the rent money earnt would then be transferred to her account. She tried to justify the lack of funds by me often wanting things with the money (which was at very most 2,000 - I bought a few skateboard items/clothes and maybe a few parts for my push bike). Then after I said none of it adds up, she admitted that she had been taking my money in order to pay for my things. We grew up in a booming area, so the problem was we lived in a rich area with a reasonably poor income, so I dont resent her for this. However I think it was poor judgement for my mum not to tell me and poor management on her behalf, she should have said no to certain things if it was such a problem. She also inherited a house and sold it for around $150,000 (I believe she got a lot of money ontop of her house maybe around $50,000) at the time and we lived fine before any of the inheritance so I dont see how it's justified. Since then however my mum gave me my own money (how kind) to buy a car of $15,000 and now I also need to get surgery on my knees which is going to leave me out of pocket around $4,000 (which could be a lot less depending on how my insurance ends up).

    Bottom line is, my mum doesn't tell me anything and is extremely vague (its her way of protecting me in her own mind) - she thinks im stupid. Now I feel unreasonable for wanting all the money i'm entitled to. However I have no idea how to workout how much money she owes me because she has no record of anything? How the hell can I work out something like this and what kind of help should I get? All I know is the unit was worth about $200,000 when I inherited it and is now worth around $250,000+ with a rent of 200+ a week. Basically after this surgery I would have spent $21,000.

    I worked out if rent was 700 a month, which it was probably more that the total income would be $84,000. Now how do I work out tax, expenses etc. ontop of all that, it's too much work for my mum to work out because she is extremely unorganised and has no idea about anything like this.... Also do you think its unreasonable for me to try and claim the remainder of my money, I want honest opinions.
     
  2. inneedofhelp

    inneedofhelp New Member

    Joined:
    27th Sep, 2008
    Posts:
    2
    Location:
    Melbourne, VIC
    mods feel welcome to move this thread to the forum you think i'll get the best and most advice!
     
  3. Billv

    Billv Getting there

    Joined:
    15th Jul, 2007
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    Location:
    Sydney, NSW
    Without touching the legality of what she did, I think whether it was a wise thing to do or not would depend on your family's financial situation.

    Now you've got to consider if you should try to recover the money if that's possible or if you should try and preserve your relationship with your mother.
    I think you should go for the later.

    Money issues often make family members hate each other.
    You can certainly do some rough calcs and work out an approximate $ figure but does she have the ability to repay you?

    Cheers
     
    Last edited by a moderator: 27th Sep, 2008
  4. Simon Hampel

    Simon Hampel Co-founder Staff Member

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    9th Jun, 2005
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    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    In general I don't think it is unreasonable for your mother to be using your own money to buy you things. Using your money to pay for their own expenses is another matter - but I don't think you implied that was happening.

    At the end of the day - you are not really out of pocket are you - since the money was spent on you?

    I'd suggest that you:

    1) educate yourself about finances and money management

    2) take control of your own property (assuming you are legally able to do so) and take responsibility for your own financial well-being ... you've got a great head-start in life with that property - use it wisely

    3) forgive your mother if you feel she did the wrong thing - family is important, don't throw the relationship away over something trivial like money
     
  5. Billv

    Billv Getting there

    Joined:
    15th Jul, 2007
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    1,796
    Location:
    Sydney, NSW
    I agree, she has already given you the best gift there is which is to bring you to this world.

    As Sim said you have a better head start than many other kids and you still live at home so use them to your advantage.

    Staying at home is a lot cheaper than renting, don't shut that door behind you...

    Cheers