Stock market is the last wild field of human kind in this modern world. Sometimes, it is sunny and seems everyone could get what he wants at will and sometimes it is so noisy the wind was with huge casualties. Since last year it seems have been a perpetual thing, not a great deal of relief from it whether you were inside, outside or anywhere else in the stock market. Could I forget the cold when the sun comes back to this wild field? *** The retail traders have run away and forums of the stock market have become silent as ghost towns. It was normal to see people died financially in these days since GFC. It was challenge to be survival in this wild field to retail traders let alone prosperous. How do you feel now? I feel cold to see the ruins in the stock market, have no idea how long the storm would last exactly, and warn me before I chase the chances I would calculate the risks. *** Trading itself should not be anyone's goal but a facility to build your financial base and future. Traders including me tend to turn a facility as their goals or use some assertions as their flags for their own insanity. Do you believe someone is not insane if they burn their money on fire out of the stock market? No? you are insane. However in the stock market, most of traders just find the ways to rationalize their insane burning of the money. When I check each of my transactions of shares in last year, I could not help but admit I was really insane. I was never so self-blaming and self-defamation. I was never so shocked by the white and black. *** For too long time I worked hard to figure out a new idea which I believed would be good and put all of myself in. I never feel so devastated not just because of the profit I failed to lock but the reality that I could be driven so hard by my own feeling and ignore the reality. The key is long time ago I chased the things which has real meaning and defined benefit, where you put more time and efforts you get more benefit. *** Stock market is a wild field, where you can work hard for nothing or even worse the unaffordable losses. I never realized it until last year. Now I know it deeply but another assertion I believe is market don't reward technicians and scientific ways: 1. you are wrong? game is over and your chip will be taken away 2. you are right? Game is not over. Would you collect your reward? no/yes? Good luck or good judgment are needed! Wrong way is a slide for your money from 100% to 50%, 30%, 1%, or zero depending on your skills to stop the losses. Reward road is that to the top with huge gravity forces, storm, crash, or a lot of risky matters. Trading naturally have more chances to be the defeating road. And most of time to most of traders and investors are true. *** The judge follows very simple rules. The simplicity is beauty, needs great wisdom and intelligence for the reward, hard to be at even, and then if you make simple mistake you pay the cost you put on the table. These assertions are not new but few really want to take care about them. It is cruel to recognize this simplicity itself. All of us tend to take the road which requires the least efforts. Seriously saying most of traders including me are driven by what they want rather than what they could get. Who don't want to get $10 millions in bank and use it for their goodness or badness? *** The fact is you just could not get what you should not get without matter how you really want and try! You have to focus on what you could get! What could you get now from the stock market and do you know what you could get? *** If last year I could let the paper profit turned beck into ashes, I have to admit I don't really know what I could get from the stock market so far. I do want to put more time and efforts to know what I could get even I do feel the extreme difficulties which need the change of behavior and disposition first and conscious procedures for safety. Seriously saying I feel more unsure for the reward while I get my mind better for what I have done so far. It devastates me sometimes but also cheers me up. We often to cheat ourselves honestly since we believes wrong things. Anyway, I would focus on my English Listening as I planed to do. What next? I am not very clear but I know I need to know what I could get for each transaction sooner or later.