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Wal Mart Applicant revealed...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Tropo, 19th Sep, 2008.

  1. Tropo

    Tropo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    17th Aug, 2005
    Posts:
    3,396
    Location:
    NSW
    Wal Mart Applicant revealed...

    Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in
    California . They hired him because he was funny.....

    NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)
    SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
    will cooperate)
    DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously,
    whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
    applying here in the first place
    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
    style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
    haggle.
    EDUCATION: Yes.
    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
    PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
    post-it notes.
    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
    intimate environment .
    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
    here?
    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU
    FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
    'Do you have a car that runs?'
    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may
    already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they
    tell me.
    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
    Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde
    supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
    I'd like to be doing that now.
    NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles
    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST
    OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
    ***Old People Rock! ***
     
  2. Billv

    Billv Getting there

    Joined:
    15th Jul, 2007
    Posts:
    1,796
    Location:
    Sydney, NSW
    Tropo

    Nice 1, where do you find these things ?

    Cheers
     
  3. Alan

    Alan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    15th Aug, 2005
    Posts:
    603
    Location:
    Sydney
    Love it!

    :D:D:D